Jenny’s Eulogy

Good morning everyone and thank you for being here today to help celebrate the wonderful life of Jenny Cox For the past 10 years Jenny has been conducting many wedding ceremonies and hundreds of funeral services, with me helping to write the eulogies. So for me to be standing here today about to share these memories of Jenny seems completely wrong, this is what Jenny did, not me. However here I am.

Jenny was born in Cirencester on a RAF airbase on the 4th October 1950 to parents Tom and Terry Carroll. Her father had left Ireland as a young teenager and moved to England where he joined the RAF, which was quite unusual at that time. It was even more unusual when after serving in Germany, Tom arrived back in England with his German bride. The young couple settled in the U.K. and had 5 children: Carmel, Jenny, Mark, Peter and Steven. Jenny was always very proud of how her parents overcame the prejudices of the time and managed to forge very good lives for themselves and their families.

It was in Coventry where I first met Jenny. I was friends with her brother Mark when we were teenagers and saw her from time to time. I remembered that I had met her earlier when I was 11 years old when I was at secondary school and spotted her in a large melee of schoolkids getting on buses in the city centre.

Jenny always said she remembered seeing me too –  however I think she was being kind! When I was about 21 I was sharing a flat with her brother Mark when he invited me to go to Southam, a market town 15 miles from Coventry. Jenny’s father was the local postmaster and it was where her family lived. Southam was packed that day as it was carnival day. Jenny was dressed to the nines being driven around on her throne as that year’s carnival queen. I was smitten all over again and couldn’t believe my luck when she agreed to go out with me the following weekend. I  couldn’t believe my good fortune and have continued to pinch myself every day since.

After an on-off relationship over the next few years with Jenny living in Liverpool for a time, she eventually returned back home. We got back together and shortly afterwards married on the 6th April 1974 in Southam Catholic Church. I knew straight away I was the luckiest man in the world and I treasured every day we spent together; the hardest part for me was sharing her with literally everyone else. Jenny was born with something I’ve never seen in anyone else: an openness and a built in love of life. I know that explanation doesn’t go anywhere near to telling you how wonderful she was, I’m not sure anyone can explain it, she was just Jenny.

Here is a story that comes to mind: Jenny was teaching Weightwatchers classes and like everything she did she was very successful. She had a class in Huntington Conservative Club and was invited to the annual Conservative Party Xmas fundraiser.

We turned up at this prestigious event in all our finery on a wet and miserable evening. I had forgotten something and left Jenny outside the venue while I returned to the car. I came back to find her hugging a homeless man and giving him some encouragement and a few pounds. Inside Jenny was asked to present a bouquet of flowers to John Major, the then Prime Minister, and his wife Norma.

Jenny took it all in her stride and was soon standing between John and Norma as if she was the guest of honour. After what seemed a very long time she hugged first Norma and then the Prime Minister with the same enthusiasm she had hugged the homeless man outside. Those actions typified Jenny and highlighted the fact that everyone is equal and deserve to be treated equally, which was the motto she followed throughout her life.

Jenny and I had a wonderful life together full of excitement and fun. We started our married life in Coventry, however after buying our first house and settling down, boredom quickly set in. Boredom was the one thing Jenny wouldn’t accept and she soon had me kicking and screaming off to London to become pub landlords. Hanging on to Jenny’s coattails was something I was getting used to and over the next few years we had a great time living in London and running a very prestigious pub. Again Jenny took it all in her stride – me not so, although I was getting better.

Our two children Sarah and Edward arrived in quick succession which brought our pub landlord days to an eventual close, moving to Cambridge where I became a cab driver with Jenny assisting from time to time. The main problem with Jenny’s cab-driving career was her inability to collect the fare from some of her less wealthy passengers; she kept giving the money back to them.

Sarah and Edward’s arrival in our lives was the catalyst for Jenny becoming super mum not just to our own kids but to all – and I mean all – the neighbourhood children. Id often came home to a house full of kids; sometimes my own not even there. Later on Jack, our first grandson came along and Supernan was born. There are too many stories to tell today about Jack’s relationship with his Nan but I know Jack will keep them in his heart for all time. Our next two grandsons Ziggy and Ezra arrived a short time ago. Jenny was able to spend quality time with them and she was looking forward to having them in her life. I am determined to keep her memory alive for her grandsons and will try to be there for them whenever I can.

Going back to the Weightwatchers years, I remember a conversation we once had: I said to Jenny ‘You were born to be in front of an audience’ and although not denying it, she said she wasn’t educated enough yet to talk to groups of people.

She then started her education by becoming a teaching assistant at Chesterton School and although she was encouraged to become a teacher herself it never really was an option as she became bored again.

A short while later we were walking past Cambridge Regional College in Cambridge who were advertising Holistic Courses. Although having no idea what holistic even meant didn’t put Jenny off as she signed up for her first course in reflexology. In the next few frantic years she won the student of the year award, the following two years won lecturer of the year and was voted the sixth best lecturer in the U.K. She also found time to pass her University Degree which she passed in record time.

Jenny was then offered the Head of Holistics at the college with the accompanying large salary, however yet again that word boredom came back and it was off to pastures new. I’m just glad she never seemed to get bored with me.

Jenny was becoming very interested in alternative therapies and techniques and started going on retreats and attending all sorts of meetings. She encouraged me and I started to accompany her to various workshops etc. Again Jenny thrived in this new world and with me tagging along we found ourselves travelling all over the U.K. and the U.S. to learn even more.  Jenny then went back to the U.S.  a few more times to learn other modalities;  it seemed as if she was collecting all the information she could and was thoroughly enjoying every minute.

The creation of our own technique The Balance Procedure seemed inevitable and during a workshop, Jenny was asking the attendees ‘What is you want?’. One of the the participants, John, stood up and said ‘I want to be like you and have what you have’, meaning her zest for life and all the things that made Jenny who she was. That answer from John had a profound effect on Jenny, and  this incident became another  catalyst towards creating TBP.

Is it possible for people to become more positive in their lives? Can they live in a calm relaxed way, all the time?  

The answer is yes they can, and for the past 15 years we have been showing them how.

Jenny led a remarkable life and I am proud and humbled to be a part of it for so long. Her legacy is the creation of The Balance Procedure and I am determined to carry that legacy forward and try and encourage everyone to become a little bit more like Jenny.

Thank you. Alan